Where Have I Been...?

I haven’t posted on my blog since October and I didn’t want to show up now and pretend a lot of time didn’t pass. Instead, I want to be real, and raw, and honest with you. So the question really is: Where have I been? This is a hard question for me to answer, so bear with me while I find my thoughts.

This year has been overwhelming to say the absolute least. I was teaching full time (and doing my absolute best to do a good job because I am one of those crazy perfectionist people), showing up on social media every single day in every spare moment I had, writing blog posts, taking photos, coming up with new captions, being a wife, and the list goes on and on. I never felt like I had permission to turn off. If I did, I felt guilty that I wasn’t “making it” on my social media platform. So, my solution was to continue saying yes to everything that came my way, whether it was work related or social media related. Each day, I felt more pressure and less joy. Each day, I felt myself comparing myself to other influencers, feeling like I was never doing enough, thinking there was only one way to do it right.

This brings me to self care. Not being able to turn off and have time to myself affects my mental health more than I’d like to admit. As most of you know, I have terrible anxiety and this was a season where it reappeared. In October, I found myself overwhelmed and overworked. I caused my own burn out. I lost my passion. I stumped my own creativity. I dreaded sitting down and writing. I am telling you this because it’s the truth. I decided to take a break from blogging because there were no creative juices left. I probably have four drafts of blog posts I worked on during that time and none of them felt right. It didn’t feel like me. I had lost my voice.

Then, throw in holidays, family visiting, still working full time, showing up on Instagram in every spare second. I realized I didn’t have any boundaries. I love to share my life on social media and every person has their limits too - I am human after all. I needed to step away so I could figure out how to have a full time job, blog because I love to write, and share on my platform because it brings me joy.

This summer, I’ve really taken the time to reevaluate what’s important to me. As most of you know, I’m pregnant and it has absolutely shifted the way I want to do business on here. I want to continue using my voice, sharing my beliefs, using my platform for good, and evolving into a person who can be, just as she is. I am enough. You are enough. Give yourself permission to show up as you are.

I’ve learned in the past few months to say no when I don’t want to participate, to create content because it’s meaningful to me, to tell my story, to be open about my struggles, to ask for help, and to take a lot more time for me. I will never be perfect and it’s in my imperfections that I can continue to find my value here in this community.

Here’s to new boundaries, here’s to a realistic schedule for content, here’s to finding balance. We all have the capacity to do this thing. What this looks like is absolutely up to you. Thank you for sticking around. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your understanding.

Love always,

Comment below and tell me where you are in your own social media journey. Can you relate to the pressure and the burn out?